Chili to Make Grown Men Cry

• a handful of steak mince
• a tin of chopped tomatoes
• a tin of kidney beans
• red/yellow pepper
• medium onion (red preferably)
• chilli powder
• paprika
• garlic
• sun-dried tomatoe paste
• 70% dark chocolate
• a tin of lager (not too cheap and nasty)

If you're feeling the onset of scurvy, throw in a carrot, handful of mushrooms into your basket as well, oh and some cumin and oregano. You'll also need to add rice, Cheddar and maybe some sour cream if you're ignoring your scales.

Dice the pepper and onion and fry in a large saucepan with a little bit of oil. I always measure my spices out beforehand, because I watch too many cookery shows. Add 3 tsps of paprika to 1 tsp of chilli powder and a half a tsp of cumin, the more asbestos your tongue and stomach, cut down the paprika and up the chilli, don't say I didn't warn you. Add spices to softened pepper and onion, stir in mince once the spicey concoction smells hot. Fry the mince until brown all the way through, add the contents of the tins of chopped tomatoes and kidney beans. Stir. Add as much garlic as you like, a spoonful of tomatoe paste, a shake of oregano, lager and a square of chocolate (we always operate on the One for Pot rule - one for the pot, two for the cook and assistant). Cover, turn down the heat and stir occasionally. It should be done in about an hour, feel free to cook for several hours if you fancy waiting. When the chilli is done serve with rice, grated cheese, sour cream and tissues. Enjoy.

Thanks to http://rhhblackthorn.blogspot.com